A Letter to Future CFKF Scholarship Recipients, by Joi Eubanks

Dear Future Colin F. Kennedy Scholarship Recipients, 

Hi, I am Joi Eubanks,  a graduate of  Mergenthaler Vocational Technical High School (Mervo) in Baltimore City. I am currently a college sophomore at Alabama State University located in Montgomery, Alabama, majoring in Psychology and aspiring to minor in Social Work.  As we know, 2020 was an unexpected year that not only affected America but people across the world. Many people lost their jobs, family members and even their freedom. Since 2016, I have looked forward to the year 2020 because I knew that was the end of my high school years, but the beginning of my college experience.  

Like many students, I already had a thought of what I wanted my dorm to look like and how I wanted to explore the city; however, my plans were cut short. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic I was not able to attend school on campus my freshman year I was highly disappointed and saddened. Years ago my grandmother attended Alabama State University and she always shared good stories about her experience at the University. At the time my grandmother attended the University things were much different than it was today with technology and cost of tuition. Due to monetary constraints, my grandmother was not able to stay on campus at the University. Over the years, my grandmother kept in contact with the alumni of Alabama State just in case I had thoughts of attending one day. 

My senior year I gained the courage to apply to Alabama State and after a month my results came in and I was accepted. Receiving my acceptance letter truly brought joy to my heart because I realized that all my hard work in high school was starting to pay off. Alabama State was the first school to accept my application and offer me an academic scholarship,  leading me to believe that this was the school for me. 

One of the most difficult challenges of entering one’s freshman year is the physical distance one may travel from home to attend college. Like many local students in the area, I found myself facing this challenge as I prepared myself to enter ASU. In seeking an outlet to help, I joined the “Metro Washington DC Alumni Chapter” created by ASU alumni Howard Watkins. Students from the DC, Maryland, and Virginia area gathered to learn about the school’s traditions, what to expect while in school, and to meet many important leaders in the community. Howard Watkins hosted Zoom meetings and even had celebrations at his home to unite the students and parents. The program allowed for us all to meet different students and parents who were in the same situation who provided feedback on how to handle being so far away. 

I am proud to say that most of the students and I are still in contact to this day as an everlasting friendship was built. 

My first year experience was definitely not expected but something that I had to quickly adjust to. As mentioned before, I was not able to move on campus due to the pandemic and was forced to stay at home. If I could describe my first year experience using one word, I would describe it as a “rollercoaster”. During the entire year, my life was up and down then back around all over again. In the beginning, I felt so eager to start my new school and meet new classmates and professors but as time went on things became repetitive. All of the teachers gave work on Monday with the exception that the work be completed and turned in on Sundays, had specific days to join Zoom session and gave tests every other week. I found the expectations and repetitive nature of the demands to be quite frustrating, even to the point where it impacted my sleep.  There were some days when I wanted to quit and often, I would cry myself to bed due to the pressure of school. Not only was Corona a reason I couldn’t physically attend college, but Corona played a big part in my mental health. 

For many people staying at home in isolation can be extremely lonely and annoying when you're constantly living in your thoughts. Many nights I couldn’t sleep because my mind was constantly playing old memories and reliving old thoughts that weren’t always positive. My thoughts were like fireworks on the fourth of July persistently making loud appearances and never shutting off. My thoughts controlled me as if my wrist and feet were shackled and I couldn’t run or hide. But I took that time to seriously look at myself in the mirror and have an honest conversation with myself. I went over the things I was proud of myself for and also reflected on the things I wasn’t so proud of. I took my first year as an opportunity to improve and grow my mind. Whenever I felt down, I would take a break from my assignments and make it my everyday routine to get out of the house and walk. Sometimes I went on YouTube and listened to hour-long motivational messages. My favorites were T.D Jakes, TED talks and Clayton Jennnings the poet. They always uplifted me when I felt down and they are still used in my everyday routine to keep a positive attitude and to help me focus on my everyday life. My experience with mental health issues makes me fight harder to study psychology because I want to be there for people who feel they can't live anymore or feel that people will always judge them. I want to be the example that there are people in the world who genuinely care and are willing to support.  

Now that the spread of the virus is slowing down due to effective vaccines, I will physically be a student living on campus and I am ecstatic. I had plans that were put on hold due to me not being on campus physically, like joining sports, organizations and touring the campus. But now I am proud to say that I can experience those things. I enjoyed being a cheerleader in high school and I still have thoughts to try out during the next semester. Not only is cheerleading one of my biggest interests, I would love to take my cosmetology skills I acquired in high school to college  and have the opportunity to expand my client base. I am also looking forward to starting training in the Air Force. It is one of my goals to join the military and I pray everyday that I can pass my Air Force Officer Qualification Test (AFOQT), which is a standardized test used to determine students' acceptance as an Officer in the Air Force. I have had the opportunity to meet the Captain of my detachment and to be a part of orientation classes. I have also taken multiple days to use my exam book to study. Although I am unsure if I will pass the test, I still enjoy the courage I possess to try something new. 

I would like to spotlight The Colin F.  Kennedy Foundation for believing enough in me to represent their foundation and thinking enough of my financial needs as a college student. While starting school in the middle of a pandemic, it meant a lot to my family and I the amount of love and support given to me over the past year. Not only did they financially support my needs, but most importantly they took time to get to know my story and find ways to better me as a college student. I sometimes feel afraid to be a psychology major because I am often told that I won't make enough money, I am going to be tired of dealing with other people’s problems or simply because other professional opportunities are more prominent. It sometimes makes me second guess my choices, however the Colin F. Kennedy Foundation connected me with Ms. Lewis who is an astounding woman who has similar career choices as me. She is an example of who I want to be when I am older and listening to her journey and advice has only driven me to continue to work towards my goals in the psychology and social work field. 

I am proud to say that the foundation has made my first year experience extremely exciting and has assisted in lifting the financial burden of my academic pursuits. It is a privilege to apply for the Colin F. Kennedy scholarship because they not only helped towards tuition cost but they took time for the students to build character and help them grow. I encourage any student who is interested in applying to apply because the foundation will always be eager to assist the students and forever be a team of people who students can lean on when times get tough. Every day is a new day and with every day there's another chance to make better choices, learn something new and begin a new journey. Even when life is a rollercoaster, find ways to ease the ride. Be fearless and never let anyone change the path you have chosen to take. 

Sincerely,

Joi Eubanks